Father's day.

Thought I would attempt to get back into updating my blog, even if it's only once a week. Obviously, my posts may not always be profound, but it's a nice way to journal and do life at the same time :)

I have struggled with father's day since I was 11. I hate it. Seriously. I have struggled since my father was taken out of my life, or I guess should say he chose to be taken out of my life. God and I have been working on this for years and I seem to continue my struggle. I just can't imagine how a father could do what mine did to their child and family. I want to celebrate, I want to be joyful and wish dad's a happy fathers day, but it's a struggle. If you are a father and I saw you today and didn't say anything, I am truly sorry. Sometimes it's just easier for me to not converse...keeps me from turning in to a blubbering mess, lol! 

Despite today and what it represents to me, I really feel like God is pressing good memories from my father figures since I lost mine and I feel incredibly blessed. 

Yes, today has been hard. Yes, I have cried more than I care to admit or let others see. The difference? I have an amazing husband who understands (as best he can) and a mother who has supported me and covered me with love for as long as I can remember. I feel blessed today to have my father figure, step father, and father in law to support me. They all know my baggage and I'm pretty sure they all know how hard today is for me, yet the love me all the same. I feel so blessed. 

I'm working through this junk, and I know someday things will get easier, they are getting better as the years go by. Just wanted to take the time to wish all of you fathers a happy father's day and remind those of you who are in the same boat that you are loved. 

Sorry-post is a little rough and a downer but I really felt like I was supposed to share some of this.