Father's day.

Thought I would attempt to get back into updating my blog, even if it's only once a week. Obviously, my posts may not always be profound, but it's a nice way to journal and do life at the same time :)

I have struggled with father's day since I was 11. I hate it. Seriously. I have struggled since my father was taken out of my life, or I guess should say he chose to be taken out of my life. God and I have been working on this for years and I seem to continue my struggle. I just can't imagine how a father could do what mine did to their child and family. I want to celebrate, I want to be joyful and wish dad's a happy fathers day, but it's a struggle. If you are a father and I saw you today and didn't say anything, I am truly sorry. Sometimes it's just easier for me to not converse...keeps me from turning in to a blubbering mess, lol! 

Despite today and what it represents to me, I really feel like God is pressing good memories from my father figures since I lost mine and I feel incredibly blessed. 

Yes, today has been hard. Yes, I have cried more than I care to admit or let others see. The difference? I have an amazing husband who understands (as best he can) and a mother who has supported me and covered me with love for as long as I can remember. I feel blessed today to have my father figure, step father, and father in law to support me. They all know my baggage and I'm pretty sure they all know how hard today is for me, yet the love me all the same. I feel so blessed. 

I'm working through this junk, and I know someday things will get easier, they are getting better as the years go by. Just wanted to take the time to wish all of you fathers a happy father's day and remind those of you who are in the same boat that you are loved. 

Sorry-post is a little rough and a downer but I really felt like I was supposed to share some of this. 

New Mexico update!

Hello again from CROC!

There are a few things that have changed in our plans, but we are trusting God and moving with Him! Having a blast! We finished up our activities with the kiddos yesterday and are looking forward to a little bit of rest later today :) We are looking forward to maybe seeing a movie or going to the pool today instead of going into Monterrey. To keep you all posted, as I feel you deserve to know, there was a drug lord arrested yesterday (PRAISE GOD he was captured!) and so we are taking extra precaution and staying outside of the city today and possibly tomorrow, depending on how today goes. Nothing violent has happened and we don't expect for it to, we are just taking extra precautions. We will be safe on our trip home, as many of the peaceful sit ins are happening in the evening and night times.

Please continue to pray for safety and health.

Matthias is feeling a little sick today and we are praying for God to heal him and restore him :) Please also pray for safe travel home on Saturday!

Love and Blessings!

We are here and it is HOT! Tonight is going to be short post but just wanted everyone to know we made it safe and sound :) No trouble at all!

Today we toured CROC and then went to church and spent the afternoon at the pool! This evening we got to do a scavenger hunt with the local teens and now its time for evening prayer! Tomorrow is a full day!

Everyone is doing well aside from connor and dan having minor tummy troubles this AM. Please continue to pray for the team as we minister to the community!

I will update when I can!

Blessings from Croc!

Numero tres!

Hello again :)

Today was a great day but extremely HOT! We finished mudding the walls and tomorrow we will paint, put the roof on, finish the electrical and go into Monterrey (or the outskirts) for an excursion before a house dedication!

Today was a fun filled day for adventure. A few of us go to experience a factory tour from CROC into Monterrey (ask when we get home, this one is going to be a short one!) and others got to go see how Youthfront distributes micro-loans to women starting their own business! We raised funds for this a few months ago! Awesome experience! Other than that, business as usualVBS, English class, and tomorrow will be the store!

Everyone is happy and healthy now and we are not anticipating anymore injuries...keep those prayers coming!

Love and blessings,

Mary & the team!

Update Numero dos

OK. So some of you may or may not have heard, but we had a slight accident yesterday which was why I did not update.

Long story short, we took the students to a pool not too far and they boys were being boys and Alex L got kicked in the head and now has a small hole in his eardrum. John (full time director here in CROC) and Alex and I spend most of the evening at Santa Cecilla hospital in Monterrey (a VERY nice private hospital) and got to see a specialist. We got home around 1am and were up at 8 in hopes of getting him into a specialist. We will be taking him into Monterrey again this afternoon at 3pm for another test, and unfortunately, we will be taking him again tomorrow to see the DR. and get the final word and instructions to send home. We are really praying the DR has an opening this afternoon after the test so we don't have to drive to Monterrey again, so any prayer on that one would be greatly appreciated. There is a chance he will have some permanent damage, but things are looking very positive that he will make a full recovery! GOD is good! Also- medical costs here are CHEAP and things should end up about $500 or less which is awesome for the testing and care he is getting :)

Lauren (from First Pres) was also taken to the clinc this AM and turns out she has pink eye! We could really use some prayers for healing!!

Other than that; yesterday we put the walls up on the house, hung the rafters for the roof, went to the pool (which was AWESOME! Pool= 5 foot deep all around...nice and cool...surrounded by mountains :) )and played with a bunch of kiddos :) Today the students will be mudding the walls; translation, adding concrete to them to make them walls, and playing with more kiddos! Everyone is still in good spirits and are pretty tired but are working very hard!

Thank you for all of your prayers! We will keep you posted!

Blessings

Mary

Our first day in CROC!

We arrived around 7:30pm last night and just got to hang out and relax. Some students even got to get Yuki's (like a snow cone) and others ventured to the burrito stand with Anthony and I. Don't worry...the burritos were EXCELLENT :) I even got Connor to eat one and she loved it!

Today was HOT! We started our day bright and early (morning prayer starts at 7:20!) and got a tour of CROC after breakfast. It's amazing the progress CROC has made over the past few years! We then divided out chores and daily activities for the week before splitting to our respective work sites. Each day students help with English classes, VBS, the store, and our construction project. Students will also get an opportunity to participate in restoration projects, factory tours (students will get the opportunity to ride the local bus and see some of the factories the local people work in and what it takes to get there), and even cooking classes! We had a late work day today due to leveling issues. We finished pouring the floor and are ready to put up walls and start mudding tomorrow am! We just finished dinner (Umberto is an AMAZING cook! Don't worry, everyone is getting enough to eat!) and are prepping for game night right now! Kids all around town will be gathering at the church to play with us Gringos tonight :)

Nothing else really to report other than a lot of fun, a LOT of sun, and mucho agua!

Talk to you all soon :-)

Blessings from CROC,

Mary

PS- Tracey, Margo is using her essential oils you sent her with and offering them to the students when something ails them, thought you would be proud ;)

Honest Emotion

Currently, I am working through a book called "Feel" by Matthew Elliott. Essentially, the book addresses the emotional side of the Christian faith and how often we suppress it. Here's an exerp that I'm currently meditating on:

"For years we've been taught by our culture and in our churches that emotions are not to be trusted; that reason and knowledge and logic are the firm foundation on which to build our faith and our spiritual lives; that it's our attitudes and actions that matter, not how we feel about things...

...we have made our relationships with God more about fulfilling our duty than expressing our passion. We make our spiritual lives into a list of do's and don'ts. We pursue this list more than we actually pursue Jesus. And this leads us to a life that eventually becomes tired and numb, devoid of feeling, dead."

I'm not sure how you this spoke to you, but it hit me like a truck. To be completely honest with you, these past few months I have felt like I am just going through the motions. Reading my bible, praying, etc...but I know something is missing...sometimes I just feel lost and disconnected. Somewhere along the line I have lost sight of who I am and who God made me to be. So often I get caught up in the motions of life and the lies of life that I forget the things that are really important to me. Is that odd?  

Things that make my heart beat faster: 

Sharing God's love EVERY SINGLE DAY at work and with complete strangers. Whether that's helping an addict from sticking them self with a dull, rusty needle, or talking to someone who just found out they are HIV+, or talking with agnostic coworkers about how not all Christians are judgmental...

Missions. God has set a FIRE in my soul for missions. I wish I could put into words how I feel when someone presents a new trip opportunity or talks about a trip they have just returned from (I wish I could go everywhere!) or even presents me with the opportunity to plan a trip! (Thanks, Ben!) Missions energize my soul.

Students. I want each and every student to know how much they are loved through my actions. I remember what it felt like to be lost and alone and unloved/cared for by a parent. I have lost numerous friends to suicide and even battled with thoughts as a teenager and I absolutely refuse to loose anymore. God brought me through more than I thought I could survive as a teenager and am just now starting to see why. People are cruel but I want to let the students see that not everyone out there is perfect, that we all fall short of the glory of God, but that doesn't make us failures in His eyes. I want them to live the life Jesus died to give them the way He intended them to! 

Working with and loving on people going through addiction and other difficult trials. This one is newer...stay tuned because I'm still trying to figure this one out. I think it potentially came from growing up around my father's addictions...

My family and friends. (Especially my hubby!) You all encourage and inspire me. Thank you.

I have always known I am an emotional person. You are looking at the kid that cried every time her fish died...so mom took away the fish 'cause 10 fish dying in 2 weeks was too much for me. ( I cried myself to sleep every night...seriously sobbing...lol) Compassion and empathy are two things I have been told I am very good at. It may be hard to believe, but I promise it's true, when I see someone hurting or suffering, I hurt too. Sometimes I really hate this trait, but lately I have come to see it in a new light. It's a gift from God that not everyone possesses. Not sure how to use it yet...but I am going to refocus. The things that make my heart beat faster are my passions...those things that make me feel incredibly alive and close to God. Those are the things I need to refocus on because they make me who I am!

Thoughts on the post? What makes your heart beat faster?