I love that verse. One of my faves. Today was tough on multiple levels. My body is physically and emotionally exhausted. On top of not eating well, I had to let yet another person know they are now HIV+. It has been happening more and more recently at the clinic and I cannot tell you how much my heart and spirit breaks for them when I am delivering the news. I wish I would never have to give people the news. I wish there were no virus to speak of. I think one of the hardest things for me is when people look at me and ask why they are being punished..or when there is that question "where was God in all of this?" I don't know the answer. It's hard for me to test people who are high risk (meaning they do everything under the sun including exposing themselves to the virus) but never test positive and then today have a client come in and tell me they were in to be tested for the first time (the client was 57 years old) because their partner was unfaithful. Happens all the time. All I can do is pray for them. I want to do more.
Today I felt extremely fatigued and have been sporting a small headache. It was difficult getting out of bed. I was painfully aware that I was hungry. I believe my body is starting to slow down because I have not given it the proper nutrition. Don't worry, I am monitoring my weight and taking a multi-vitamin while my diet is lacking. I have been thinking and worrying a little bit that I will not be able to complete the entire week. I know I have another meeting tomorrow afternoon that has provided lunch. I am seriously considering eating! I abstained today during the potluck lunch with much will power. Dessert was ALL over the table in front of me and I think a few of my coworkers thought I had an eating disorder, since all I ate was a fluffer nutter sandwich. I caved and ate an oatmeal bar and 1/4 of a brownie. I needed the sugar. I was shaky!
I was praising God despite my hunger and fatigue. I am SO blessed. To live day to day like this, I could never imagine.
Meals-
- Breakfast: 1/2C plain oatmeal $.06 (note to self: cook on stove not in microwave. Oatmeal in the microwave has a certain gelatin quality...gross but I ate it!)
- Lunch: Fluffer Nutter Sandwich $.32, homemade oatmeal bar $.04, 1/4 square of brownie $.10, turnover (cherry Pillsbury) $.15
- Dinner: 3 bean and rice burritos .$38
- Total: $.99
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